| yeah bitches! |
[Dec. 26th, 2005|11:31 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
It's my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 18th, 2005|10:14 pm] |
Oaky, So I know I'm super late on this on, but here goes...fun kids!
1. Reply with your name and I will write something I like about you.
2. I will then tell what song reminds me of you.
3. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, I'll tell you what it would be.
4. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
5. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
6. I will tell you what color you remind me of.
7. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 18th, 2005|10:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
I just spent about 30 mins writing this big long post about things that ahve been happening with me, my two jobs, my car troubles, and Eric...then my computer crashers and I lose it all....DAMN! |
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| And down the hill we go.. |
[Jun. 11th, 2005|12:32 pm] |
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THings with Eric were really good. Like really. I've been falling in love with him. He said he was too, he actually brought it up first. But then I gfet this phone call last ngiht. Apparently he was at riverbend with another girl. THat part is okay. I don't mind him ahving friends that aare girls. But then I get another phone call....he is hugging, kissing, holding, etc this girl....gotta go get the car..more later, shit! |
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| Of course... |
[Jun. 10th, 2005|12:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
Well...I am not going to pick up my car today. Something came up with my dad, so I have to wait till tomorrow. I know this doesn't seem like a big deal to anyone else, but it is to me. I was so excited. I ahd friends telling me how great it felt to drive their own car for hte first time. I had my nephew and his mom DYING to see it. Micah was going to "make sure it was an okay police/fireman car". I got up early (7:30) this morning so I could see my nephew before he went to the summer camp because I wasn't going to see him again until dinner tonight. After he left, I ahd nothing to do nad couldn't fall asleep, so I started getting ready. I painted my nails and toenails. I plucked my eyebrows. I took a long shower and shaved. I even put on glitter/shimmer and makeup. I was so excited. It was also important for me because of the bonding expirence for my dad and I. I had really big hopes that it would possibly bring us a little closer which is what we really really need. Plus, I was goign to pick up my check after I got the car. My dad was going to grocery shopping with me, or give me money, so i could stock my fridge. I also have no shampoo or conditioner because I was promised I'd be going today...I wanted to get some stuff from my dads house. I need sneakers so I can go to the Y with my uncle to work out. I need...jsut a bunch of stuff. imagine leaving you house to go live soemwhere else and only taking a week's worth of clothes, a little shampoo, conditioner, soap, and razers. I need a bunch of stuff. I wanted to get my books so I could go to McKAys ASAP. I had alot to do. Now I cna't do it until monday or tuesday.Tomorrow I'm supposed to be helping my unlce move into his new office. I'm supposed to be going to his neighborhood block party with my nephew. I'm supposed to be going to see Eric and then going to Angela's to get ready for Riverbend. Now, I have to knock things off my to-do list so I can get the car. I suppose this sounds really superfical and stupid.
Its like, karma just bit my ass. I knew something would happen. Things have been going to well this week. I've gotten into NO arguments; my dad and I have both been relativly happy, and so much more. THings were jsut to good. THats not my life. I know I'm reading way to much into this. Its just I knew something would happen and I was right. Normally I like being right, but I dind't want to be right about this.
CRAP! |
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| fun in the sun, or no sun... |
[Jun. 9th, 2005|09:57 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | BET *Dem Boys | ] |
Today I have a very important date! I am hanging with my nephew. Yep, Auntie Windsey had duty to go to the park and then sonic. Fun~!~ Then, later on today, I have to go to work. Hopefully, Monday I will beable to go job hunting. Bi-Lo is only letting me work 10 hours a week. That means I make like $50 a week. At that rate I will never be able to get the $2,000 for the car. I have a few things lined up and few that I need to line up. Big hopes right here. Woot woot! I will probably let Bi-Lo go. If one out of the handful of jobs comes through, I will beworking so much there, it will be useless to keep Bi-Lo. Don't u love me perspective. I will let THEM go. Ha Ha. I crack myself up.
Have a good day, those of you who actually read this (which is probably like 3 people. thats okay, I lvoe you guys tons!).
Oh, I painted my nails last nite! They are a really cute light pink.
Micah sat there for like an hour and watched me. He's so cute. Asking questions and saying things like "Windsey, do you remember when I was very little - you were very very gentle with me. Will you be very very gentle with baby brother? Will you love him? Do you remember when I was little you changed my poopie diapers. Will you change baby brother's poopie diapers, because I don't want to. They will be very stinky like mine were when i was very little." He is three and is going through a stage where everything starts or ends with "when I was little". He has an amazing memeory. He can remember not sharing a piece of cucumber with me when he was about 18 months. Its wild. |
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| Girls names please... |
[Jun. 8th, 2005|08:36 pm] |
My dad is going to pick up my car on Friday. Since the car wreck my dad decided that I need my own car. Since I am staying a tmy uncles house, I'll probably get to keep it here with me. For awhile I'll probably only beable to drive to and from work and while I am job hunting for a while. I will get to drive to McKays in MY car to trade in my 100 (!) books for different ones. Yeah, well. I'm not gettint the car for free. But thats okay. "Nothing in life is free", right? I ahve to give my dad $2,000 before I have my driving resrictions (like only driving to work) removed. By the time I start college, I have to give him $2,500 in addition to the initial $2,000. My car in a '92 Honda Civic. It's white with beige interior. The inside, and outside, look BRAND NEW. The only thing wrong with it is the old owner hit the hubcaps on curbs sometimes, but you can't see the marks unless of look for them, and that can be fixed with rims that I will eventually get. It runs great! It only has 89,000 miles (it can prolly get more than 200,000). It only had one owner nad normally sat in their garage. THe only thing thats upsets me is that it does not have a c.d. player, but for about $150 (including wiring-since its older- and the c.d. player) I can fix that!
WHAT SHOULD I NAME IT? |
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| A brighter side maybe? |
[Jun. 6th, 2005|10:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | optimistic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Slow Jamz C.D. *Ready for Love - India Arie | ] |
Well, today was shaping up to be another bad one. I had to go to "family therapy" and then I had to go to work. And, of course, for the second times in a row, 'she' was working, it was horrible. But I lived through it to get to the brighter part of the day. My uncle pickes me up from work, took me to my house to get some stuff, and now I am at his house. I am in the downstairs appartment. Yeah, coolness right? I have a bedroom, bathroom, kitchen and adjoining livingroom. So I finally have my own space. I am in a neighborhood that gets the bus. I can ride the bus to hamiltonplace, and from there to downtown, northgate, or even better, Erics House (I love him by the way, yeah, its great and scary, but thats a different subject). But, the most important part is I fainlly ahve structure. I have set rules here, and even better, I have set consiquences. For alot of people, its weird the I am so excited. But for me, this is amazing. Part of the reason I am so unhappy in my fathers home is because I recieve almost no discipline. I when i do recieve some, its bendible, or my father gives in. I thrive on rules, chores, and knowing that when i break a rule or don't do something asked of me - I GET A SET PUNISHMENT! Yeah, weird, but try to see it from my view. Plus I get to play with my nephew all the time. He is by far the best Micah I know, and the sweetest kid! So maybe, with some structure, time, love, and 'fresh air', I can finally heal. Maybe, just maybe, I can start a new, more postive, chapter in my life. At the least, I will find out if I am as horrible, worthless, untrustworthy, and wretched as I've been made to feel. Maybe whe nI go to sleep at night, I'll be excited to wake up. Maybe when I wake up, I'll wanna get up and and see the sun (or lack there of). Maybe I'll have an opportunity to become stronger. Ya know, everyone says the going through the crap makes you stronger. Maybe this break from some major crap will give me a chance to get stronger. Or maybe I'm just kidding myself and things will not improve. The only way to know is to give it a chance. Just a trial. A trial that I go into positivly, or atleast with a positive attitude. I've tried some many other things that have not worked, maybe this will. I guess I'll find out in time. Funny, never thought I'd be one to say 'in time'. Hey, maybe some extra patience and even better....maturity are kicking in. Cool.... |
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| I'll just complain. |
[Jun. 5th, 2005|09:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  determined | ] |
| [ | music |
| | A Slow Jamz C.D. *Most Beautiful Girl-Babyface(?)* | ] |
I am posting tonight/this morning out of shear...heat shock. We have NO AIR CONDITIONING! none at all. I am on the second floor. I can not breath. It was bad enough with my regular..well..almost non-stop hot flashes. Now i feel like i am dying. For anyone who knows me, you know how horrible this is. For those who don't: I AM ALWAYS HOT. When normal people are perfect or cold, I am burning up.
My life has been going downhill at a rapid pace. I am not writing this because I want pity. I don't want everyone to think, awww poor lindsey. I am merely doing this to get some things off my chest. I stopped writing in my LJ because I noticed all of my posts made me seem completely pathetic. I suppose I am.
I have come to realize that I am pretty much worthless. Or..I've come to realize thats how alot of people see me. I am trying really had to stay true to myself and not let that get to me and change how i see myself. But its really hard. My father and I are not on a speaking basis at the moment. I got in a car wreck in "HIS BABY" last tuesday. Now I am paying the ultimate price of being stuck in this house all summer long. I get to go to work and that is about it. Now for those of you who have seen my room, you probably thinking, you ahve so much stuff in there. Yeah, I have a computer, radio, T.V. But that does nothing for me. I refuse to spend my summer sitting on my ass doing nothing. THats not me. I've been so bored the past week and a half, I have cleaned the garage (two car); completely redone my room, closet, and bathroom; done dishes and ran the dishwasher 5 times (alot for only two people dirtying dishes); reorganized the cabinets and pantry twice; washed every piece of clothing i own, including bleaching all my whites; and done tons of other things.
My punishment of being stuck in this house is horrible. Especially if you consider what I am in trouble for. I broke curfew a few times and didn't call every 10 seconds (my phone was so screwed). For that, my dad feels that I need to be on medication. Apparently I am ioutrageous, wild, and out of control. Now, considering what I could be doing (drinking, doing drugs, dropping out, getting pregnant, etc.) I'm not that bad. I'm not allowed to drive until I am on medication. Now, it doesn't matter how I feel about the situation. I know myself. I ruse to become dependant to medication to solve my problems. *To anyone on meds. I am not dissing, jsut saying thats not me* Now, I'm not judging with no proof. I was on medicatrion for almost a year, and the only thing that come out of that was an emergency room bill. Yeah, I didn't need to be on them, so I had all the side effects. I lost feeling in my legs, I would start shaking, my jar locked open, and so on. Hillary and Patti even went with me to the emergency room. I refuse to go back to that!
There's more, but I feel self pity coming on so I'm gonna stop for now....... |
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| Work! |
[Mar. 19th, 2005|09:05 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | none....weird... | ] |
I finally got a job. I am working at the Bi-Lo on Highway 58 (come see me!)
I am busy busy busy. I worked last night from 5pm till 12am, I work today from 12pm to 8pm, and between Sunday (tomorrow) and Friday I work a total of 28 hours...I get paid $6 an hour, anyone wanna total how much my check will be on friday? hehe...Love you guys!!! |
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| Thanks Guys... |
[Feb. 1st, 2005|07:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | numb | ] |
So, why is it that I get stuck in situations where my close friends know the they can always come to me to talk, that I'll drop whatever i am doing for them. But when i need someone to talk to everyone seems to be WAY to busy. Guys, this isn't just one of my stupid family fights and messed up personal things. This is serious. Darius is NOT OKAY! He is NOT GETTING BETTER! atleast not for now. I'd love it if the people who always come to me would pull their heads out of their asses and be there for me. I know this sounds selfish, but i need help. I can't get through this by myself. And I know that everyone says to me, well I'm here if you need me. But are you? Are you really there for me? Maybe I'm making more of this than I should. Maybe I'm being stupid, maybe this is only a big deal to me. But whatever the case....I'd love it is my so called friends could be there for me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 13th, 2005|05:32 pm] |
>This is cute and I know it will make you laugh!
>
>Give The Frog A Loan
>A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her
>nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
>
>"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
>
>Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his
>name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows
>the bank manager.
>
>Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
>
>The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant,
>about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
>
>Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank
>manager and disappears into a back office.
>
>She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out
>there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to
>use this as collateral."
>
>She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
>
>
>(you're gonna love this)
>
>
>(its a real treat)
>
>
>(a masterpiece)
>
>
>(wait for it)
>
>
>
>
>
>The bank manager looks back at her and says...
>
>"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a
>Rolling Stone."
>
>
>
>(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........)
>Never take life too seriously! Come on now, you grinned, I know you did!!!
>
>Have a good'n |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 9th, 2005|09:23 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
 | You scored as Hip Hop and Rap. Hip Hop and Rap.
Hip Hop and Rap | | 79% | Mainstream | | 58% | Emo & More | | 50% | Indie | | 50% | Punk and Pop Punk. | | 50% | Britpop | | 46% | Classic Rock. | | 46% | Indie Rock | | 42% | Hardcore | | 33% | Ska | | 25% | Country | | 25% | Industrial | | 21% | </td>
Music Recommendation
created with QuizFarm.com |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 31st, 2004|10:13 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | numb | ] |
1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before? : Admitted to myself that my life may never be great or easy, but its mine and i just have to live with it and try to be happy...amoung other things that are less important
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? : I didn't keep them, but I am making new ones tonight, with my boyfriend and with myself
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? : yes, my sissy...
4. Did anyone close to you die? : no...
5. What countries did you visit? : Mexico
6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004? : A car and love within my blood family...
7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? : not a date, a month...July...I was in mississippi with the people closest to my fmaily...my family really
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? : teaching myeslf to love and trust and be okay with it...although I'm still working on it a little. Also, I have honor or even star roll...
9. What was your biggest failure?: Trusting too much
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? : Jellyfish got me...
11. What was the best thing you bought? : Um, my big red fuzzy die that i got yesterday...
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Why?: My sister Mary, she is taking care of her sisters baby at 15...I'm so proud of her...
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?: Wow, alot of peoples..
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?: Gogin to mississippi and Devons birth
16. What song will always remind you of 2004?: Usher's "Yeah"
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?: not sure, at this point I'd say both in different parts of my life..
ii. thinner or fatter?: thinner..a little
iii. richer or poorer?: poorer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?: Social things
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? : fighting
20. How will you be spending Christmas?: away from everyone I love crying in my hotel room in mexico
22. Did you fall in love in 2004?: Yes, jsut recently
23. How many one-night stands? : 3
24. What was your favorite TV program?: Desperate Housewives
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?: yes, Micah, Brittany, Edwin (not lesure) and my dad
26. What was the best book you read?: Angels and Demons
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?: not sure..
28. What did you want and get?: somone who loved and cares about me in a different way...
30. What was your favorite film of the year: Man on Fire I think
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?: Cried in my hotel room, watched my dad dry hump a woman, drank 5 Coronas...and creid some more...16
32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? : Momma D, Mary, and Devon moving here...
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?: Comfortable and show off the BOOBIES!
34. What kept you sane?: Music
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?: not sure
36. What political issue stirred you the most?: Bush being elected AGAIN
37. Who did you miss?: My family...being Loved
38. Who was the best new person you met?: Darius
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004: No matter what happens of how you feel, there is always someone who cares about you enough to cry at your death...
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
either:
"I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song is my sorry"
"And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I’m never gonna be good
Enough for you
I can’t pretend that
I’m alright
And you can’t change me" |
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| Well... |
[Dec. 27th, 2004|07:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | infuriated | ] |
My birthday sucked, like i new it would...My dad gave me a card because i asked for one the night before my birthday.well...asked if i was getting a card, since mexico was 'my trip' i wanted something i could open, and i card is 99 cents with some though, care, lvoe...in the form of words. so anyway, my dad hard this womans son do a card in highlighter. he gave it to me sunday morning.....and...MY NAME WAS SPELT WRONG...and it was the biggest thing on teh card. Dad didn't even notice. to make things worse, he wrote no more than 2 lines in it. Guess he was in to much of a hurry to nail the mom, right? YEAH...he spent MY birthday, with some other woman. Anna forgot it was my birthday, did't care. My prestent from my dad was gettin to watch him pretty much dry hump and fondle some sleezy woman all day. He didn't notice I downed 5 Coronas...with I did to see if he would. I am only sixteen right?...things were worse but i cna't write anymore, I still so upset..hysterical..and I am once agian crying and shaking....
gettin my liscence *hopefully* tomorrow.... |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 19th, 2004|12:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
GREAT! So, right now, i should be getting on my plane from atlanta to mexico...but because i did't ahve my mother with me or a note from her with her permission for me to go to mexico, i am at home. How am i supposed to get something like that if i haven't even seen the woman for a year. they didn't care that my dad has sole custody.....DAMN IT! Yet again, another reason why i have the holidays!!!!!!!!! |
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| Saturday... |
[Dec. 18th, 2004|08:47 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | crushed | ] |
I leave for Mexico tomorrow. No one has called to wish me a happy holidays or a happy early birthday...sucky. It also sucks that the Jew Holidays are over and my dad's side has not wished a happy holidays or anything. Does no one in my family realize the ONLY GIRL IS ABOUT TO BE 16?!?!?!?! Yes, I am the only girl and the second one of my moms side to hit 16, the first and only on my dads side. I hate the fuckin holidays!!! GOD! I'm so ready for school to start again so I don't have to sit here and think about my screwed up family. Going to Mexico, getting my braces taken off (already), and getting my licensce mean nothing to me if I have NO family to share it with.....oh well....
Happy Fucking Holidays Folks |
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